Jack.is » Cooking » Cookies » Sugar

Sugar Cookies

  1. Cream butter. Means beat it to a buttery pulp.
  2. Beat in the sugar. Be careful not to leave too many bruises.
  3. Add the egg. Not two egg yolks. What are you going to do with two left-over egg whites, anyway? Man up, it's a fucking egg.
  4. Add the vanilla and whip thoroughly. We're looking for a mental breakdown here.
  5. Add milk or cream and keep beating it. Oh, wait, that came out wrong.
  6. Sift together flour, salt, and baking powder. You don't actually have to use a sieve, just mix the shit. Damn pompous recipe.
  7. Mix well. Just in case you'd been doing it poorly.
  8. Arrange on buttered cookie sheet. I'm not sure what to arrange on it, though. Let's all form up on the cookie sheet. Dress right, dress. Hey, it's a bit hot in here.
  9. Okay, but seriously, one teaspoon each, one inch apart.
  10. Press the cookies with a sugar-coated glass if you really care that much about something you know you're going to eat all of in less time than it took to make them, you insufferable glutton, you. ;)
  11. Bake 8min (dayum dems some fast cookies!) at 375° F. Makes four dozen, or more like 20 or so if you don't actually make miniscule cookies as the recipe orders. You can indeed make cookies larger than your thumbnail. They'll come out all right.

Variations

Chocolate

Before flour, add 1/3c cocoa or 2 oz. unsweetened melted chocolate. Bake at 325° F.

Coconut

Add 1/2c shredded coconut.

Lemon

Omit vanilla; add 1/2t lemon extract or 2t grated lemon peel.

Spiced

This one is seriously really good, man. If you don't try any of the other variations, try this one. It's amazing.

1/4t nutmeg or cinnamon.

For a variation on the variation, use 1/8t each nutmeg and cinnamon. Thanks, Scott.

Enjoy.