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How to avoid pissing off your RDC while marching

1. Stop looking around. That ship over there looks like yours. That division over there looks like yours. You don't need to see what their number is because you wonder how old they are. It doesn't matter. There is nothing to look at while you're marching. There is never anything interesting to see while walking around the base. Don't bother. You'll just get yelled at.
2. Stop looking down. If you have such trouble staying in step that you have to watch your feet, have the recruits who know what they're doing help you out when the RDCs aren't taking you out around the base and worrying that you're going to embarrass them. All you have to do is remember: One and three are left foot, two and four are right foot. (Of course this doesn't mean that when your RDC or ARCPO is singing cadence and doesn't actually progress linearly 'one, two, three, four', you should hop around on your right foot for 'four *pause*, two . . .' Common sense, you know?)
3. Stop touching yourself. Stop scratching, stop adjusting your glasses, stop digging in your face at your bumps, and for goodness sake don't even think of putting your hands in your pockets. In fact, if you have a problem with your glasses nearly falling off while you're marching because you can't push them up, don't wear them while you're marching. I got through boot camp without wearing glasses while marching. I just slipped them into my trouser pocket before we went out. I suspect the RDCs knew after a while what I was doing because I always wore my glasses otherwise, but let me do it because the alternative was worrying about getting a street hit from FQA (Fleet Quality Assurance, 'recruit police' of sorts).
4. Do it right. Stay in step. It isn't that hard even if you have no sense of rhythm. Do what everyone else is doing. Is the guy in front of you always fucked up? Then correct him. Don't let him mess you up. Keep yourself in step even if it means kicking the hell out of his heels (but before you do this make sure you're not the one doing it wrong!). He'll probably get pissed off at you but you aren't at boot camp to make friends. Your arms go six inches forward and three back. It may be more swing than you're used to, but you'll get used to it. Make it sharpish-like. ;)
5. Learn to turn. And for fuck sake please stop rounding the corners. You will impress your RDCs so much (and feel so much better about yourself) if you all execute a turn correctly. Pivot on the correct foot. Pivot where you're supposed to, but don't stutter-step, slow down, or speed up to be exactly correct. Stop fucking curving, god damnit. March in a straight line until you pivot into the oblique (or 90 degrees straight away if you're on the inside column), then keep marching straight until you pivot again to come to a full 90 degrees.

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